Shyness and Social Phobias
Many clients talk about confidence as if it were literally “a thing” but confidence is in reality a description of our lack of ease in a specific situation or when thinking in a particular way
Throughout our lives our brains are constantly learning and processing information and this process allows us the ease or lack of ease in all that we do. Confidence is the description of the amount of ease we have in any specific situation.
Another phrase that is often likened to this perceived lack of confidence is the question of self esteem when a client reports “having a low self esteem” Low self esteem can of course describe a wide range of different behaviours from shyness to different forms of anxiety. Whatever the situation, there will be a pattern to this behaviour, which is never as random as it may seem. The source or origin of the perceived lack of self confidence is not the central issue, but rather how a person can discover a new found ease and capability which had previously eluded them. NLP, Hypnosis and Provocative Change Works are all excellent tools for dealing with this issue.
Confidence is a description
There is of course no such “thing” as “confidence” because confidence is a description of how we respond to a specific activity or situation , and in all cases needs to be experienced in a specific context. Clients will often state “I have no confidence” (with absolute certainly) often missing the irony of such a statement. What they generally mean is that when they are in “X situation” or doing “Y activity” they “feel” that they do not have as much ease as they would like and therefore conclude that they are “lacking in confidence”.
Many people who studied NLP like Paul McKenna discovered that many of the NLP techniques are excellent for changing old patterns so that the client can create powerful new states of confidence. Like Paul, I also trained with Richard Bandler the co creator of NLP.
The types of situations where clients request more confidence include public speaking scenarios, exam situations, and social situations amongst others. When I work with clients I am always seeking out how the client is creating a lack of ease and often ask the following type of questions ”
“What would it be like to FEEL more confident, what would be different?”
“How do you know when you are confident?
“What has stopped you to date in feeling confident?”
Confidence in Relationships
Confidence in relationships is often a major issue for some clients and once again the Provocative Change Works, NLP, Hypnotherapy and Provocative Therapy approaches all work in an accelerated state changes with clients. Here is some typical feedback from one of many clients that reported great success from a single session at my practice in Leeds:
“I had struggled with social shyness for as long as I can remember, I tried many, many things to become more confident in new social situations. Here are some of the things I tried: Tony Robbins seminars, acting courses, two different hypnotherapists, two different NLP therapists, one of which I flew to Los Angeles to see and listening to many audio products and reading countless books. Then……..I finally managed to organise a session with Nick Kemp. The day I spent with Nick was, in two words “Life Changing”. In a very fun, unassuming way, he was able to see past all the things I was doing and hone in on exactly what I needed to do to change the way I think and feel. Not only that, but he’s given me some excellent tools which have helped me go way beyond what I thought was possible.”