“Sexual problems” can take many forms. Before any formal session, it’s, of course, essential to obtain accurate information, so time is used to best effect. It’s also important to check that, in this instance, there are no medical (physical or medication-related) reasons for the problem in question. This is one of the many reasons why, with all clients, I request that they complete a set of client notes, so I have proper information about “the problem” from the client’s perspective and what they want from the session.
I have dealt with a range of “sexual” problems which can include a huge range of different problem behaviours from addictive behavioural patterns, ED, vaginismus, anxiety issues and almost paralysing shyness, and a host of other problems. Many clients are surprised by how easily they can relax in a session and are hugely relieved that their problems are far from unique! My approach to these issues uses a wide range of tools, including Hypnotherapy, NLP (as taught by Richard Bandler) and Provocative Therapy (as taught by Frank Farrelly). As mentioned elsewhere on this site, my focus is on “how” they are creating the problem rather than on “why” they are experiencing it. Often, the client realises that, logically, their emotional response makes no sense, but their feeling response tells them they currently have a problem in this area.
There have been many memorable, highly successful results over the years, including working with a guy who was literally terrified of women (the more attractive they were, the more terrified he was), who then discovered an absolute ease in his interactions with women once he began to think, feel, and respond differently. Every client is unique, but in this instance, this outcome was also achieved in just two one-hour client sessions. He is now in a successful and happy relationship, and his confidence in every other area of his life has also benefited immensely.
Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation can often be resolved by changing a person’s internal self-talk, which frequently contributes to creating the state of anxiety that then facilitates the behavioural problem. Many clients experience meaningful changes in a very short time.
“I noticed a total change in my mental state and beliefs from the session with Nick. This was a real reality check where I finally realised that the belief system I used to have was complete bollocks!”
Robin (Treated for ED problem)